


Belonging

by embarrassingresultofmyfreetime



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I straight up don't know how to tag this im gonna be real honest, Light Angst, One Shot, Thoschei, Wholesome, a morally-grey master being pals, and ruth!doctor shows up to listen to him and help out, and there's a nice little moment with the two of them, bc i think they would have a really interesting dynamic, but this is all I've got for rn, i just really like the idea of a morally-grey doctor and, i want to write something more with the two of them, it's mostly dhawan!master reflecting on things, mentions of Missy - Freeform, the Master is genderqueer and respects women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28828740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime/pseuds/embarrassingresultofmyfreetime
Summary: The Master has never really fit in with humans, but he has belonged to a few groups of them over the years.At one point he would have nearly considered these people friends- but with a new regeneration comes the harsh reminder that he will never completely fit in with any of them.While he's lost and feeling sorry for himself, a version of the Doctor turns up who's never fit in anywhere either.To the Master's surprise, she listens and helps him get back on his feet.
Relationships: The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Kudos: 5





	Belonging

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired partially by 'The Missy Chronicles' and as well as [these images](https://actionfiguresfanart.tumblr.com/post/615232287524651008/because-some-days-are-just-like-that-reblogfollow) by [@ ActionFiguresFanart!](https://actionfiguresfanart.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I was once talking to them about Ruth!Doctor and Dhawan!Master meeting so this one is for them <3  
> (I hope they're okay with me saying that. I'll have to ask them.)

The Master was sitting under the front awning of a closed bakery. He was already drenched from the pouring rain, but the heavy drops refused to give up as they splattered over every inch of him. He should find somewhere to go- but he had no where left in mind.

He simply sat, cold, alone, aching... and brokenhearted.

"You're quite well dressed to be sitting on the sidewalk in the rain," a woman commented.

The Master didn't bother looking up from where he sat, curled up in some weak attempt at preserving warmth.

He wasn't in the mood for conversation today. He wasn't even in the mood to take out his anger on yet another jerk human passing him by.

He just sat there and let the soaked strands of his dark hair fall into his face. He held the stupid bracelet someone had once given him in his hand. He fiddled with the simple string of painted, wooden beads.

"Can I buy you a coffee, or tea, whatever you'd prefer," the lady tried again.

The Master didn't look up at her. The wind turned direction and drenched him once more, but he just sat there against the brick building and let the wave wash over him.

Water had already soaked through every layer if his clothes and the cold easily seeped through his skin. He couldn't feel his hands all that well anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Even as the touch of his fingertips fell numb, he continued to fiddle with the wooden beads.

The woman was still standing there. The Master could see her figure tower over him in the corner of his eye. Still, he didn't bother to look directly at her. His eyes were barely focused on the item in his hands anyways.

"You'll retract your offer once you hear why I'm sitting here," the Master noted dully.

There was no enthusiasm in his tone for once. Just a quiet hum as he mused barely louder than the rain crashing to the pavement around him.

"Try me," the stranger countered.

That did manage to bring a hint of a smile to the Master's downturned lips. He examined the beads in his hand and rolled them passively as he began.

"A long time ago, although from this year it's not all that far away, I belonged to a gentleman's club.

It was nothing much, but it was safe. No one asked questions, the food was always good, and the service was always quick. In a way, it was something of a home."

The Master then sighed tiredly,

"One day, I went there... as a woman."

He paused and listened for the woman's steps to inevitably walk away. Every one did, and the last person to humor for this long certainly had by the time he had reached that part of his story.

The rain splashed against the awning overhead in large splattering drops, but the woman didn't leave.

So after a few seconds more, the Master continued. He might as well recount the tale- he decided. Even as he felt certain no one would stay long enough to hear the end of it.

"I made my case," the Master explained, his eyes still locked on the assortment of beads rolling beneath his fingers. "I explained that I've always been a good and- at times- _helpful_ member of their silly little club. I've been there time and time again and was never questioned, not once."

The Master gritted his teeth, "Yet, the _second_ I stepped foot inside, none of that mattered. They didn't like that I was a woman- and so they threw me out."

The Master shook his head. He wasn't even angry at them anymore. He was angry at _himself_ for believing they might have ever accepted him as nothing more than himself.

"So I did what any woman would do," he continued with slightly more gusto, "and I destroyed their club. _No one_ throws _me_ out on the street like that."

He shook his head sharply, but after a moment his tone relaxed again,

"A few weeks later, the news had spread. Women hear about the lady who destroyed the club their dreadful husbands had been using to avoid their obligations. The place these terrible men spent half their earnings on alcohol and something fancy to smoke.

These ladies were... happy about it.

I didn't think much of it at the time. All I had done was get my revenge on the people who had mistreated me. It was nothing uncharacteristic of me.

When people questioned me on the matter, I simply admitted to what I'd done. I wasn't ashamed of my actions.

And then to my surprise- these women... they... took me in."

The Master shook his head gently, as if he still couldn't quite get his mind around the idea.

"It was... a sharp adjustment. The silence of the club and my favorite comfortable chair that no soul ever dared to touch- to suddenly sharing a couch at the noisiest tea party I'd ever been to.

It took a while, but I learned the social workings. These new humans were different from the selfish businesspeople I was used to surrounding myself with."

The Master's voice softened,

"These ladies were.... I suppose they were _kind to me_ in a way I hadn't been shown kindness before.

I learned... that I didn't need to shout to be heard with them. They listened when I spoke and all they asked was that I listen in return. They always had even better food and drink anyways, and I got the opportunity to murder a few abusive relatives on their behalf."

He chuckled weakly,

"I suppose... I had never quite realized what they were put through. In time, I warmed to them even more than the not-so-gentle men that I had grown accustomed to at my old club.

These women... they didn't even have their own money. They were forced to wear the most impractical clothing...

And yet, they did far more than those old men in their big old chairs reading their little papers ever did. They... kept the world running.

I had never noticed that before."

The Master shook his head again, in a desperate attempt to get his head in order. He pulled his legs closer to himself and lifted the bracelet with a finger for his audience to see.

"They gave me this one day. I didn't understand why. It's not practical. It's not good for anything."

He played at the beads with his thumb.

"But there was a bead for all of us. To show that we were a part of something. To show that I had a new home that I could come back to. I suppose it was a nice gesture...

Now it just...

Hurts."

The stranger was still there.

She moved to take a seat next to the Master on the wet concrete.

The Master still didn't bother looking at her, but having another person nearby was... surprisingly comforting.

His eyes never lifted from where he was staring off in the middle distance. He clutched the bracelet tighter.

"They threw me out," he confessed suddenly, tears in his eyes.

"I'm... currently stranded here. In this _city_ \- whatever this place is called.

I know it's been a while, but in my time of need: I went back to them. I returned when I needed their company most. I've been through a lot and I thought-"

He ducked his head into his hands.

"I don't know what I thought, but at least I would have a group of people willing to listen and maybe one of them could offer a bit of perspective."

He sighed and ducked his head even lower into his arms.

"They don't recognize me," he said quietly.

"They didn't even listen. They didn't let me explain. They saw me and yelled and threw things.

I didn't get a single word of explanation in. They slammed their doors in my face and locked me out and suddenly it was just like getting thrown out all over again- but it was even more cruel. The way they pretended to care... only to toss me aside the moment I broke protocol was... so much more brutal than being thrown out of that gentleman's club."

The Master sighed.

"I shouldn't care, I don't know why I thought they might be different... but that's always the way with these things, isn't it? People always care, and are so _willing_ to listen, until you do one thing they don't understand and suddenly it's just... _over_. "

He put the bracelet away in his pocket and hid his freezing hands in his coat.

"That's why I'm here. I have nowhere else to go and I'm _not_ interested in finding somewhere new.

You know the saying. Fool me once, fool me twice- but I'm not stupid enough to let there be a _third_. "

The Master was shivering terribly by now. He had been sitting there for so long that even his coat was completely soaked through and there wasn't any warmth left in his skin.

"You can go," he said when he realized the woman was still sitting there.

He just wanted to be left alone. To try not to think about why losing these places and people hurt him so much. To let the universe pour down on him and punish him for ever thinking someone would just accept him for who he was.

How could he have ever believed he could belong anywhere?

The stranger stood up and left.

The rain pounded onto the sidewalk and the Master tried not to look at the few passersby who turned their heads his way. He knew he must look like a terribly pitiful figure. What a waste of a perfect suit and such carefully groomed hair on the shivering figure he was reduced to, left alone to the mercy of freezing bullets loudly pattering overhead.

Maybe this is what he deserved.

And then- to the Master's baffled eyes- the stranger returned.

She pressed a warm to-go cup of tea to his hands which forced him to tame it before he wore it.

The sensation warmed his trembling hands as the lady took a seat next to him once more, now holding a drink of her own.

The Master curled up closer to the heat of the scorching drink.

"Whatever form and gender you choose, you’re still you," the stranger promised. "One day, someone will see that and welcome you unconditionally."

The Master chuckled a little under his breath.

"I've also just confessed to destruction of property and murder," he reminded her gently.

"It sounds like those people had it coming," the lady responded.

The Master's eyes widened slightly.

"And you... don't mind?" he asked skeptically.

He got a better glimpse of her through his curtain of drenched hair. The stranger was a tall figure, taller than him by a few inches at least. She had a top of ruffled fabric that was out of date by several centuries. Bright yellows and oranges and reds of it peaked out at her collar and sleeves. Over it, she wore a long, almost-tailcoat that was a deep blue with numerous buttons in parallel columns down the front; along with strange green-tinted, gold-rimmed glasses.

Her skin was dark and her hair pulled back in a large tail of dreads. She was... shining and mysterious all at once. Her presence so much larger than life was prepared for.

She turned her attention to her own drink as the Master watched her with fascinated eyes. He'd never seen her before- he was quite certain he would remember someone like that- and yet she felt familiar. He couldn't exactly put his finger on why.

"I don't encourage it, but I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite," she chuckled softly.

"I haven't always made the best decisions either. Sometimes you think you can justify your actions and... it's only later that you realize you were wrong."

She sighed.

"I know what it's like," she smiled softly, "to feel like you don't belong anywhere- to be on your own. But one day, someone who _will_ accept you, absolutely and completely. You just have to stay the course long enough to find them."

Her words were kind and gentle despite her stern exterior.

The Master wanted to appreciate them, but he didn't want sympathy.

He wanted to be left alone. It was safer that way.

"Don't you have anything better to do than take pity on strangers?" the Master asked as he retreated further inwards.

He wasn't sure why he'd said it so harshly. He'd just poured out his hearts to this woman and now he had a warm drink in his hands thanks to her. He didn't need to be so defensive- but he had already been burnt too many times to let himself get hurt again right now.

"Yes," she said simply, "but none of those said 'better things' come with good company."

"I'm not good company," the Master retorted sharply.

"Maybe not. But you could at least give me the chance to decide that for myself."

The Master let out a sharp breath of amusement at that.

"Fine," he caved. "You listened to my tale. Now what do you want?" the Master asked pointedly.

The woman stood up and offered the Master a hand. Her ruffley sleeves half-hid her hand as she offered it.

"To get out of the rain. You're shivering terribly," she said boldly and gently all at once.

"No, I'm not," the Master denied despite the very obvious way he was indeed shivering.

The woman's gaze softened a little.

The Master looked at her hand, and then off in the distance. His eyes searched the blank nothingness as he hesitated and then, finally, he carefully reached up his hand to meet the stranger's.

He stood up and kept the warm drink tight to his chest with his other hand. The change caused him to lose the little bodyheat he'd been conserving and he now felt twice as cold as the open air blew past him.

He shivered all over again and locked down his jaw to keep quiet.

The woman let go of his hand and instead offered an arm. The Master linked his own arms around her upper arm and pressed close to her sleeve as he ducked from the strong winds. He kept one hand tight around his warm drink and attempted to keep it steady. He was shaking even more terribly than he thought he would and he couldn't seem to stop.

"Let's get you somewhere you can warm up," she suggested as she took the lead.

"Why are you doing this?" the Master questioned weakly as he followed, close to her side.

All his time on Earth, and not one human had ever shown him this level of kindness. He hoped this wasn't just a trap of some kind. He wasn't in the mood for a fight right now.

"Because I know who you are," the lady's surprisingly reply hit the Master's ears, "I believe that- down the line- I cause you quite a lot of trouble. This is the least I can do."

"Down the line?" the Master pondered with wide eyes.

His tired mind worked overtime as he scrambled to figure out what she meant.

"So I'll see you again? Will I know who you are by then?" he asked a little _too_ hopefully. Whoever this was, he didn't quite mind her company so far. Not that he would dare admit it.

There his hearts went all over again. Setting himself up to get hurt.

"Down the line for me, at least," she confirmed- although that really didn't clear anything up, "so I couldn't say for certain."

The Master gave an annoyed nod.

"Time travel can be a bitch like that."

The woman laughed warmly, her stoic and confident exterior melting just a little.

"Yes, it can be more than a little confusing- but I'm hopeful things will work out for both of us eventually."

She led the Master to a library. Thankfully, it was much warmer inside than it was out in the rain.

The Master combed back his hair with his fingers and wrung out the edge of his coat at the entrance. Now that he was here, he could dry off, get his bearings, and maybe find a map of the strange city he was stuck in. Then he could work out a way to get back to his Tardis.

He pulled away from the stranger to put his plan into motion- but then paused.

He looked back to her. She had... such an inexplicably powerful feeling about her. She was bold enough to overshadow an eclipse and yet had a glint in her eye as if she could disappear in an instant.

She... was different. He certainly hoped she was different anyway.

"About what you said," the Master addressed her once more.

The stranger raised an eyebrow at him.

"-about... feeling like you don't belong."

The Master sighed. He wasn't good with this stupid emotional stuff.

"If you never find where you belong either... then... maybe let me know," he suggested softly. "Maybe... we can feel like we don't belong anywhere _together..._ again... s-sometime."

He brought his cup to his lips and did his best to hide behind it as he stared off to the side. He must sound so terribly pathetic, looked even more so, and now he was making it worse-

He was surprised when the stranger suddenly hugged him.

He... hadn't been hugged in a long time.

He held his cup to his chest and let himself relax into her hold. She was warm, perhaps like a fire that would be kind enough not to burn him.

It was brief, but it was enough.

"I'd like that," the stranger promised.

They exchanged a brief smile.

The Master gave a nod and then went to work.

It didn't take long for the Master to sip his drink, warm up, and scribble down some directions on a map he'd sketched from the outdated public computer. He was about to head for the door when he glanced around.

Whoever that woman was, she had disappeared. The Master searched about the library, but she was nowhere to be found. He hadn't gotten so much as a proper goodbye.

He decided that was alright. She had said he would see her again someday. For some reason, he believed her.

He was even looking forward to it.

Now to get back to his Tardis and to 21st century Earth. Back to the Doctor- the only real constant in his lives. Back to being her enemy.

Back to the one place he might actually belong.

**Author's Note:**

> (I've had this in my saves forever so I figured I would finally post it! It's not as good as I wish it was, but they can't all be perfect lol. I hope it was alright.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!!  
> If you liked this, [here's another fic I wrote](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23122387) where Ruth!Doctor properly meets Dhawan!Master!
> 
> Please let me know what you think and maybe I'll write more of these two in the future!  
> Thank you! <3


End file.
